Absentee Newly Wed

My dearest readers,

If you’re still reading, let me first apologize for my absence. A good friend e-mailed me and asked if “no news was good news”, and it has been! I’ve not written to you in months, and the guilt is starting to get to me. Let me update you on everything!

I finished Job Corps. Leaving that place is possibly one of the easiest things I’ve ever done. It was a relief to leave behind the drama and the rude, uncaring people. I got out of it what I could, and I had no plans of staying. Only a few friends made me turn my head in grief. I’m going to miss The Original the most, I think. She was my first friend when I went there and my closest friend throughout.  I’ll miss the companionship of my friend Taylor and talking about his Swedish girlfriend. I’ll miss them, but I’m moving on to a new chapter in my life.

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(Love you, Nena. Miss you, Taylor.)

I actually got married May 23th when I flew out for a weekend visit, but we had a ceremony with family and friends a month later, in my parent’s back yard, on June 28th.

The wedding was beautiful. It may not be what little girls dream of, but it was amazing. Of course, there were bumps in the road. It took a lot of planning. My poor groom had a day-before-the-wedding freak out. We fixed that and continued on as planned.

The day of was fun. First, there was the family BBQ. His family came over and made some food. My family made some food. Some people went swimming, and others didn’t. It went well. Our families come from two very different backgrounds, and he was worried about how it would go, but everyone had fun.

Then it came time for me to start getting ready. I went to have my hair done, then I went back home to get dressed and put on makeup. Whoever decided that the bride can’t be seen until she walks down the aisle is cruel. I watched out the window as my groom greeted guests. He looked so handsome. I wanted to be out there, by his side, but I had to wait for my dad to walk me down the aisle.

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And when that happened, it was almost magical. There were so many people there! They were all watching the procession. First, it was his parents. Then, it was my mom and her sister. After that, it was my little sister and Maid of Honor. Finally, it was my dad and I. Everyone watched, and, at first, I could barely look up. My dog, Maxx, followed us down the aisle. Everyone laughed. I saw my groom, standing up by my old youth pastor, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He was my anchor in the crowd of 150 people in my parent’s back yard. All of the sudden, I was no longer nervous about all of the people watching me. I was just excited about being up there, saying our vows, and kissing my husband.

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The service was sweet. The pastor read some scriptures that outline what our roles are in a marriage and how God designed marriage to be. We did our vows in both English and Spanish, and our dads surprised us by coming up and saying a prayer over us before we were introduced to the crowd as Mr. and Mrs. Garcia.

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The rest of the evening went by in a beautiful blur; saying hello to everyone, taking pictures, cutting the cake, dancing, throwing the bouquet, etc. Before we knew it, it was time to leave and check into our hotel for our honeymoon. We stayed at a hotel in Carmel (courtesy of a good family friend, Tutulu), and spent the weekend at the beach, in the room, and going out for dinner.

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Before we knew it, it was time to go back and get back to business. We finished packing my things in boxes, opening wedding presents and packing them, and making sure all my furniture was ready for the moving truck. Next came packing his parent’s truck for the drive to Texas, my new home.

We drove all the way through California and broke down just outside of El Centro. Moises (my husband) and his parents were trying to figure out what was wrong with the truck and I was sweating like a hog in the back of the truck. Eventually, they called their family in Arizona, and they picked us up and towed the truck behind us. We stayed with his family for the night while things were figured out. We ended up taking his cousin’s truck the rest of the way to El Paso and keeping it. We got to El Paso on the Fourth of July; checked into a hotel, went out to dinner, and watched the fireworks on post. The next day, we got the keys to our apartment, moved our stuff in, and said goodbye to his parents.

The next few weeks were filled with unpacking, organizing, settling in, trying to get the stuff on the moving truck here, unpacking and organizing that stuff, finding new things for our apartment, and getting used to living with each other. Each of us has our own quirks, but nothing too bad. Living together, after spending basically our entire dating relationship and engagement apart, is the best thing ever. I cook and clean when he’s at work and he expresses gratitude for it when he gets home. One of the best feelings is when he says to me,”Every day, this apartment feels more and more like home.” I spoil him with lots of different foods and new little changes in the apartment, and he spoils me with date nights and little treats. I love him more than I could ever put into words.

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We have three “furry kids”; two cats and one dog. Moises surprised me and came home with our first kitten, Julius. He’s orange and striped, so we named him “Orange Julius” (I must give credit to my mom, who gave us the idea).

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We were happy to have a little furry soul in our home, but he was always attacking us or causing trouble. I was too busy with cleaning, organizing, and unpacking to always be playing with him. We reasoned that he needed a companion. A dog, since Moises wanted a dog. We started looking and found beagle puppies, but the previous owner wanted money for him (because he’d already had his shots). We said that we’d keep looking, but lo and behold, Moises surprised me again by coming home from paying the rent with a beagle puppy! I wanted to name him Macbeth, going with a Shakespearian theme for our pet names, but Moises didn’t agree. He wanted to name him something else, and we thought of Caesar. It seemed as if we were going with a Roman theme, but his full name is really “Caesar Salad” (What can I say? We’re hungry people. Hahahaha.).

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Our little furry kids were great, even if potty training Caesar has been a huge pain in the butt. They shared “brother bath time”; they slept together, ate together, and played together. Then Caesar grew faster than Julius, and Caesar got rough. Moises wanted to get another kitten so that the cats could “team up” on the dog. I’m more of a cat person, so of course I agreed to getting another cat. We picked her up, and to continue with the food themed pet names, named her Sally, short for “Salt and Pepper Sally” (Moises came up with that one. Quite clever, I think.)

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Now, the cats love each other and run away from the dog together. We’ve trained Caesar to sleep outside, and the cats both find their way into our bed at night. The three of them together are quite the handful! We love our furry kids and the full feeling they bring to our home.

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(Moises is holding Sally, Caesar is trying to play with Sally, and Julius is wondering what the others are doing on his couch.)

Issues. Every married couple has issues.

The most common and biggest one, finances. I really need to get a job. The truck ended up breaking down and we had to take out a loan to repair it. It was pretty bad, and now we have a loan payment to make every month. I’ve heard of women marrying someone in the military for their money, but that’s stupid. Soldiers aren’t paid a lot and it’s hard to live on one income. And, of course, I’ve been unintentionally postponing getting a job, for this reason or another. The reality is I’m scared. It scares me. I’ve had many good jobs and good work experiences, but it’s always been with someone I’ve known for a long time. The last job I had, I was miserable. I was a temp and no one even tried to get to know me. I was lonely, and I hated the work I was doing. Working during my internship was better. I was working for the accounting department instead of the billing department, and I loved what I was doing. Now that I’m living in El Paso, I’m afraid of putting myself out there for interviews and jobs. I’m afraid of being denied a job because I don’t speak Spanish. I’m afraid of ending up miserable where I work again. I’m going to get a job. It’s just the getting there that’s hard.

Misunderstandings are a big one too, and I’m sure you know that there are plenty of those, me having Asperger Syndrome and all. I’ll misunderstand what he means or I won’t be able to explain how I’m feeling, and it creates tension. His job and circumstances surrounding it add stress and uncertainties to his mind, and it isn’t always easy to smooth those out. I know my own insecurities and fears don’t always make things easy, but who ever said that marriage was easy? It’s a constant work in progress, and we’re working it.

Kids are my thing. I love kids and I’ve always wanted them. In fact, that’s what I’ve always wanted to do. My dream, since I was very young, has been to be a wife and a mother. I’d have been happy and content with starting a family right away, but Moises, a year younger than I, isn’t ready for kids. Our financial situation isn’t ready for them either. I’ve agreed to wait two years before trying, but that doesn’t stop my heart from yearning every time I see a chubby little face or a mom teaching her toddler how to cross the street. I’ve been to several family things for his work, and all his co-worker’s wives are either pregnant or have kids. I’m the only one without, and it’s a lonely little club to be in. I’m not unreasonable, though. I will wait. It’s just hard to do. And Moises is super understanding and patient. Whenever he notices that I’m feeling sad about it, he’ll give me a hug and kiss. He tells me that my dreams will come true. I just have to wait. (I have my furry kids for now anyways!)

We found a church, not long after moving here, and it’s got a “home” feeling that every church should have. The first Sunday we went, we received a warm invitation to join any of the many ministries available. I jumped right into the women’s ministry, and the ladies now consider me a great help. (Yay!) Moises and I started attending a Wednesday night class called “The Family Project”. It’s fun and makes this place so far away from family feel more like home.

Altogether, finishing Job Corps, getting married, and moving to El Paso has been the greatest experience of my life. I apologize, again, for being absent so long. It doesn’t help that we don’t have internet in our apartment yet, but no excuses. I have more post ideas bubbling up in my mind! I’ll do my best to keep you updated. But for now, the furry kid named Julius insists that I spend a little time away from the glowing box with keys and pet him instead.

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See You soon,

Allie!

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