Archive | March 2014

Card Games

I am a Caucasian female.


What does that say about me? Only that I sunburn easily.


Now, of course, having grown up in a Caucasian family, I exhibit certain behaviors that are attributed to white people. Oh em gee. She’s white.

Strangers assume a lot about me. They assume that I’m racist, stuck up, privileged, snotty, a know-it-all, a snitch, etc. But what they don’t know, because they fail to look beyond their assumptions, is that the majority of my life was spent in a community in which I was the minority. Well, the majority of the years that I remember. And I’m the furthest thing from racist. The Medic, obviously, is Mexican.

At the age of ten, I moved to a town where the majority of the population is Hispanic. Where I had previously lived, the population was mostly Caucasian. The way that I was raised, however, was to be aware of and appreciate all cultures. In first grade, we did a project illustrating how people in different countries celebrate Christmas (or Hanukkah or Cuanza). It was really interesting. I also grew up with a friend, The Greek, whose parents frequented Greece. They cooked amazing Greek food and invited us to spend the Greek Easter with them. If you haven’t tried Greek seasoned lamb with their cucumber sauce, you should. It’s amazing! I like to consider myself to be well cultured. In fact, I probably know more about the Mexican or Japanese cultures than I do the cultures of my ancestors (Irish, Italian, Swiss, German, and Israeli{?}).


My point in all of this is that I’m tired. I’m tired of the “race card”. I’m tired of people assuming that, because they’re a different race, life is automatically more trying. Yes, it’s difficult to be a minority. I understand that. I experienced my fair share of being pushed aside and mistreated because I didn’t look like everyone else, because I grew up differently. Some people don’t even know me by my name. Some people only know me as “white girl”, “snow”, or other nick-names that reference my pale skin. I’m not offended by it, but I don’t want it to be my only defining characteristic. I am more than the color of my skin. So is everyone else. I’m not in any way downplaying the difficulties that are presented by certain circumstances. I am, however, saying that people need to stop using “cards”. Everyone faces difficulties in life, and you can’t measure how those difficulties affect other people. Something hard for you is something easy for someone else.


Relating to having a high functioning form of autism, it’s the same thing. Having Asperger Syndrome or HFA is not what defines you. It doesn’t give you a right to hold it over people’s heads or amplify the difficulties that it gives you. It’s doesn’t give you the right to make your life seem more difficult than the next person’s. Your life is difficult in its own way. Take those difficulties and make something out of it. Do yourself a favor and don’t use an “autism card”. It’s not fair to you or other people; it makes them feel bad, and sometimes guilty. It’s not fair to yourself because it limits you. If you define yourself with such a minute term, you are hindering your own growth outside of that term.


I don’t want to see myself as a great “aspie” writer. I want to see myself as a great writer. I don’t want to be the best “aspie” girlfriend that I can be. I want to be the best girlfriend that I can be. By defining ourselves and labeling ourselves with these things (white, black, aspie, etc.), we limit what we can be. Don’t hamper your own growth. Don’t use “cards”. Don’t hurt yourself by doing that. Define yourself without the labels.




This entry was posted on March 27, 2014. 1 Comment

“Frozen” In My Tracks

I’m not much for jumping on the bandwagon. But in this case, I think I will. It’s all over the place. The new Disney movie, Frozen, has some big critics. There are rumors, as it is with all Disney movies, of an underlying message. This one happens to have to do with homosexuality.


A blogger wrote about what she saw as homosexual undertones to the movie. Normally, I just ignore what people say about these beloved Disney movies, but reading the Yahoo article got me thinking. The older sister, Elsa was “ostracized by the public and even her family”*. At the end of the movie, ”Elsa’s family and community finally accept her for who she is”*. These things can apply to many situations in which someone is ostracized for being or looking different. It could represent a racial minority, someone physically disabled, or someone on the autism spectrum. The claimed message of the movie seemed to be that “gays (Elsa) are not the problem, but rather society is the problem for rejecting them”*. This, again, can be relevant to many things.


To someone that has experienced/still experiences having Asperger Syndrome, the “message” of the movie could have to do with AS of HFA. We are different and people don’t always understand us, like Elsa. Sometimes, people even fear us because it’s unknown to them. We sometimes have friends and family members, like Elsa’s sister Anna, that love us and do what they can to protect us from other people and their cruelty, even if we try to push them away. It seems like a “happy ending” when people get to know us or accept us for whom we are. And, in most cases, society is the problem and the cause of the pain and loneliness that we go through. Some people on the spectrum are their own problems, but most just want to be loved and accepted.


In the end, the movie Frozen is what you make of it. For me, it’s a story of pain, foolishness, teamwork, silly characters, love, adventures, and overcoming obstacles. I liked the movie. I made The Medic take me to go see it. Hahahahaha. Elsa overcame the hurdles that were placed in her way and found peace in her kingdom. Like her, you can overcome your obstacles and live peacefully and happily.


Letting It Go,