People on the spectrum tend to be overly honest. This honesty can range from “Mommy, why is that man so big?” in the grocery store as a child to “Your stupidity annoys me.” as a teenager or adult. I still have a bit of an issue with this. I will over-do the honesty in a conversation or I will give information that isn’t necessarily wanted.
I wait at a bus stop to go to my internship. Sometimes, I run into people I know and have a nice conversation with them. Sometimes, I encounter a bit of unwanted attention from persons of the opposite sex. It’s obnoxious and entertaining at the same time. I do my best to brush them off in a polite way. The different methods of their trying to talk me into, sometimes base, things are funny. Often, the way that they talk to me is disrespectful. And occasionally, these people will not take the hint. I’m not interested in you. I have a boyfriend. Nope. The only people that I allow to call me “Baby” are my dad and my boyfriend. Since when is the fact that I have a boyfriend an invalid reason to stop trying to talk to me? Apparently, it means nothing unless he’s physically there. The point of telling you this is that it is something I’m overly honest about.
The poor Medic has heard about these encounters a little too often. I tell him pretty much everything, especially memorable things. And I realize that my boyfriend doesn’t want to hear that other guys are hitting on me. Wow. It took me long enough to get it. He’s all the way in Texas. He can’t do anything, and that frustrates him. He hates it. He despises those men. And I hate upsetting him.
So, why do I keep doing it? I don’t know.
Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m hiding something when I don’t tell him. Maybe it’s because he’s the person that I talk to about everything. Maybe it’s because I can’t hold it in and I just need to say something about it to someone. Maybe I just want to laugh at them with someone so that I’m not upset about it. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I don’t know why.
So, what am I going to do? I’m going to not tell The Medic about these encounters. I’m going to write about them in a notebook, and then I’m going to throw the paper away. This, I hope, will get the need to say something about it out of my system. And I’m going to watch myself in other areas for being overly honest. Let’s see how much I can grow in this little area.