Since I came to Job Corps, the number of my roommates has changed. From three to two when one changed rooms. Two to one when one got terminated from the program. Then two friends moved in to make it three roommates again. Then, in one day, two of my friends moved into different rooms, and a complete and total stranger moved in; three to one to two. And another stranger moved in last week. Currently, making it three roommates.
This is a lot of change. Most of it happened over time, but in the last three weeks, the changes were close together, and they got to me. I’m not comfortable living with a stranger. And I’m most definitely not comfortable with having no prior knowledge of them moving in. Both of these new people that have been thrown into my private living space were thrown in before I knew what was going on. “A new girl is moving in today.” And ten minutes later, she was moving her things in. What kind of a warning is that? Hardly the kind to allow me to prepare myself mentally.
Change without warning, and changes that invade the space that I go to for quiet and rest are just difficult to adjust to. I do. But it’s not always pleasant or quick. In honesty, I felt betrayed, by I don’t know who, for having my space invaded like that. I like my little box. I like being in a room with people that I know, people that I’m comfortable with. When you live with a person, they learn your idiosyncrasies. They know when to ask you about things and when to leave you alone. They know when to say something and when to just stay quietly by your side. It’s stressful to have to teach these things to a new person every few weeks.
Now, it took around a week for me to accept the newest stranger as someone living in my room. But I still don’t particularly like it. I have no control over who is put in the room. I have to accept it. But I don’t have to like living with these people. All three of my current roommates are nice girls, and I can’t hate them. I like them as people, but that doesn’t mean that living with them is easy. One of the new roommates is neat and quiet and clean. The older roommate is noisy. She’s always yelling about something; something she’s read on Facebook, a text she’s gotten, or yelling on the phone. I hardly think it’s necessary to yell while you’re on the phone with someone. And the newest roommate is sloppy. It is not necessary to get water and toothpaste all over the bathroom while washing your face and brushing your teeth. And it’s even worse when you don’t clean up after yourself. We’re all over the age of 18 in the room, and I’m not their mother. I shouldn’t have to clean up after them.
I realize that change is a constant in life. And I will adjust to changes. It just takes longer for me to adjust to some things, especially things that make me uncomfortable. I’m adjusting and putting up with the changes. But, goodness, I can’t wait to be able to control who it is that I live with. Thankfully, The Medic is really good at talking me through these things and showing me logic when my brain gets muddled from the stress of big changes like these. He makes it easier to deal with these big changes.