The Woman-Child

I am a legal adult. And I have been for over two years. But I don’t always feel that way. Sometimes, I still feel like a little kid. And that bothers me.

I’m an adult. Shouldn’t I feel like one? I don’t live with my parents. Shouldn’t that add to the feeling? I make my own decisions on things now. Shouldn’t that add to it even more?

But I still feel like a little kid.

Of course, it doesn’t help when older people still treat me like a little kid. I understand that some of them watched me grow up, and it’s a change, knowing that I’m no longer a child. But I’m not that little kid that they knew anymore. What’s even worse is when older people look down on me and discount what I have to say because I am young. I may not be in my thirties or forties yet, but that doesn’t mean that I am void of wisdom and maturity.

Those that know me in person know that I have a jovial attitude and child-like energy. But that’s just who I am. It does not mean that I cannot sit down and take things seriously. I like to joke around and be goofy. But that does not mean that I am immature. I’m still fairly young. But that does not mean that what I think and what I have to say hold no value.

Maybe it’s the misconception that everyone in my generation conforms to the stereotype of the typical twenty-something year old. Not everyone in my generation is a party animal, running around, getting drunk, doing drugs, and getting pregnant. No! I am going to school for accounting so that I can have a better future. I have friends that go out and party and drink, but I certainly don’t go with them. I have no interest in messing up my future. I want to continue to be more independent.

I realize that I’m yearning for something. For that moment when I can say that I’ve finally gained the independence that I’ve worked towards. I yearn for it with the hope that, in that moment, I will finally feel like an adult.

Although, I can’t help but wonder if the feeling of still being a child will never go away.

Thinking,
Allie.