Dating

Well, it would seem that I am dating again. We’ll call him “The Medic”.

As an Aspie, dating can mean many things. Worrying about making a good impression and being accepted by his family, worrying about making a good impression and being accepted by his friends, and worrying about the impact AS will have on the relationship. Worrying about the acceptance of AS by The Medic, or how he’ll feel about being included in blog posts.

I’ve known him for years, and assumed that he knew about my AS and blog, but it turns out that he didn’t. He went into this knowing nothing about AS or my blog. For years, he’s just accepted me for who I am, without any knowledge of why I am the way that I am. He accepted my quirks. And he loves me for them. By now, he’s read all of my blog posts, and he understands. And he’s no less accepting than he was before knowing. He treats me well, and it’s refreshing.

He’s a NT and his family members are NT’s. I’ve met his family, and they were very accepting. There was a small language barrier with his mom, who speaks very little English, but a good impression was still made. I was able to play with his nieces a little, and they love me. I watched a little football with him and his brothers, and talked a little smack. His brothers seem to like me too. His sister and godmother liked the small conversations we had.

The Medic is good with my family, which is important to me. He enjoys sitting and having a conversation with a cup of coffee. That’s perfect for my family, because that’s what we do together all the time. He respects my parents and feels protective over my younger sisters. I value my family to a great degree, and how he treats them and respects them puts me at ease.

Overall, I’m feeling good about The Medic and the growing relationship. We’ll see what adventures come with this.

Happy,
Allie.

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5 thoughts on “Dating

  1. Hey Allie 🙂

    This post just seems so relevant to my life at the moment…
    I’ve started seeing this guy I like. He’s read my blog and accepts me but I’m so nervous about meeting his parents who are also NTs. How did you go about meeting the parents? I want to be myself. His mum knows about the Aspergers I’m more worried about his dad 😦

    I genuinely feel though that you have to keep it real. If anything I’m too honest with this dude lol, but he likes it I think. I’ve also found he calms me down so much! Is your guy the same? Like makes you feel relaxed rather than edgy? x

    • The Medic was only in the area for a weekend before he went back to where he’s stationed. So, I told him that it was important to me to meet his family that weekend, and he arranged things. One of his parents barely speaks English, they know nothing about Asperger Syndrome, and I was nervous. I really wanted them to like me.

      Not long after I got to the house and met his parents, his sister and her family arrived. I started playing with his nieces, because I love children, and I think that that’s what “sealed the deal”. Their family is very family oriented, and they saw the patience and affection that I showed the little ones. Even the really shy niece was laughing and playing around with me, which is apparently very unusual.

      I am also the first girl that The Medic has brought home. He’s kind of the odd one in his family, but the one that they know is serious and responsible. That, I believe, also added to the speedy acceptance. They knew that any girl he brought home would be someone special and someone that he was serious about.

      I didn’t pretend to be anyone that I’m not. And I was well received. Keep it real. 🙂 Your boyfriend, most likely, likes you for who you are. And, if he’s anything like mine, he wants his family to like you for who you are as well.

      Over-honesty is only a problem if you make it one. The Medic appreciates my over-honesty for the most part, but he’s sure to tell me nicely when it’s too much. The Medic absolutely calms me down. He helps to calm me when I’m freaking out about something or stressed about something. It’s refreshing and nice.

      So, just be yourself. 🙂 And try not to worry too much.

      Always,
      Allie.

      • I’m so glad they accepted you 😀 My guy’s parents don’t know about Aspergers either but I think he’s told his mother now and apparently she’s just happy he’s found someone!

        I just never know how to handle myself around ‘the parents’ it’s so daunting 😦 I just hope I can click with the mother 😀

        Ahh I’m usually scared around kids lol! I feel like they can read me 😦 I take it you want kids in the future? I’ve got a post about me having kids in the future up somewhere on my blog.

        I haven’t freaked out yet in front of my guy but he does take everything in account. Like in pubs I get a bit edgy and nervous but he gets me out of there quick 😀

        Will email you shortly, glad we met x

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