I don’t know about you, but I can pretty much remember everything that every person has done to hurt me. I can remember every bad thing that’s happened to me. I remember how my older sister used to treat me, I remember things that people have said to me, I remember my cousin’s death, etc. I have a good memory, and I could feel justified to hold it against people if I wanted to. I could treat my older sister with disdain and say, “Well, you made me feel worthless.” I could treat my co-worker with disgust and say, “Well, you made me feel stupid and ignorant.” I could turn my back on God and say, “You took my cousin when he had such a bright future and many people that loved him.” I could hold onto all of these things and more. I could, but I do not.
I know those with AS and HFA are often very logical people. If this person hurt me, I cannot trust them, so why would I keep them around? Logically, if someone were to repeat a negative behavior, I should not let go of what they did to me. Logically, if I’m burnt once, I wont touch what I burned myself on again. It is logical to remember, to hold it against people that have done me wrong. It’s logical, but is it right?
When someone does something to hurt me, it’s like they break the glass figurine representing what it is that I’ve tried to give them, whether that be friendship, courtesy, love, or many other things. Having been broken in my hand, the glass cuts me and I bleed. Depending on how large the shards are and how deep the cuts are, the time that I bleed from these wounds is for either a short period of time or a long period of time. The cuts hurt, but eventually they will heal. The proper way to care for these wounds would be to remove the shards of glass from the cuts and to clean and bandage them up. In other words, the correct way to deal with the people that hurt us would be to take what they did out of our wounds and clean and bandage the situation. However, most people, after the shock of having the glass figurine break in their hand, leave the shards of glass in their wounds and grip them harder to cut deeper and deeper, to keep the wound bleeding longer.
Think about it. If the things that people have done to hurt you were actually shards of glass that you were holding onto, would you grip tighter or would you let go of it and take care of your wound? It isn’t healthy for you to hold onto shards of glass and injure yourself further. Just the same as the metaphor, it isn’t healthy for your heart to hold onto things.
So, to all you logical thinkers out there, think of all the scientific studies that show that happy people are healthier and live longer. Think about how happy people are people that don’t hold onto things that have hurt them, and don’t depress themselves by dwelling on the negative of their life. Happy people forgive and are forgiven in return. Think logically. Happiness can be a choice. You can choose to be happy and healthy and to live a long life.
I decided to forgive the people that have hurt me. I decided to be happy.
What will you decide to do?
Forgiven and Forgiving,