Regression

Alas, I have not written in a while because I have been busy (with life). While I have been away from the wonderful world of blogging, things have been happening. Good things! As well as the occasional not-so-good thing. I’ve created, for myself, a workout schedule and I’ve been attending more Bible studies! (Yay!) This post, however, has the title it does because things happens.


Working out releases stress that builds up due to disturbances in my little box. Along with muscle training, I use things like the punching bag, a heavy rope that I swing around, and a sledge hammer to hit tractor tires with. I am in a better mood and I treat people, mostly my family, much better when I don’t have that built-up stress weighing on me.

Going to Bible studies, I learn more about my relationship with God and get to know Him better. It creates a better mood in me because I feel peace, and I treat people, once again, much better. These things have kept me busy and have improved my mood much.

Now, to the regression. There are events that led up to it. Another meltdown. *cue horror-movie music* Firstly, there has been something weighing on my mind that has me perplexed and stressed. Then, there was a change in my schedule, and I was not able to work out on Friday. Saturday, my little sisters were stressed about returning to school, which, in turn, stressed me out. Sunday, my schedule, once again, was changed. I no longer had drama practice and was no longer going to go to the Bible study. I felt useless because I no longer had something to do. In the end, I had a meltdown. It was over the littlest thing. I was watching Law& Order: SVU and my little sister decided to change it to CSI while I had gotten up to get a soda.


I do enjoy both shows, but I felt wronged. Betrayed, even. Granted, her actions were not justified, but I am the adult (or at least I should be). There were things that added to the situation, but I should have more control over myself. I think that I didn’t see the warning signs for this one because I was so caught up in being busy that I forgot to watch myself. I got cocky and I fell hard. It hurt to have fallen and to feel like I’m back at “square one” again. I don’t want to go back to where I was before. I want to keep improving. I could have prevented that meltdown, and I’ve been scolding myself since for it. A word of advice:
“Never forget where you have been. You might just find yourself there again” (-Allison Rogers)

Limping,
Allie.

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