Archive | April 2012

Distractions

Since the last post, I have run into several distractions that may have gotten in the way of preventing my meltdown. Saturday, I was out in the sun for several hours and, even though I applied sunscreen, ended up looking like a cherry. Those who’ve had sunburns know that they hurt. And, being a young woman, it goes without saying that my hormone levels are all over the place. Things like this, dealing with pain and unexplainable emotions, very often take my focus away from making sure I don’t trip up socially or pick up on warning signs for a meltdown. I did, however, prevent a meltdown on Sunday, even with all the distractions.

After church, my family gets home in time to eat a little something before we have to go to drama practice. Yesterday, I was in the kitchen preparing a burrito to eat and when I reached for the cheese, my mom told me to stop. I didn’t see why she was telling me to stop opening the bag of shredded cheese when we only had limited time to eat, so I kept opening the bag. She kept telling me “stop” over and over again, getting louder each time until she was yelling only two feet from my ear. Needless to say, this rattled me more than just a little bit. It was surprising for two reasons. #1- My mom pretty much never yells. #2- She knows very well how I react to yelling (usually tears, confusion, frustration, and more tears). Apparently, she wanted me to use the two tablespoons of the cheese that was left over in the older bag of cheese. I still don’t understand why it was such a big deal and why she found that yelling at me was necessary, but I used the cheese that she wanted me to use and sat down at the table, silently eating the burrito and trying not to cry. It was at that moment that I realized I was bordering on a meltdown and straightened myself out.

After that realization, I ignored my parents yelling up the stairs for my sisters to get something to eat, I ignored my sisters and dad attempting sarcastic humor, and I ignored the snide remarks of rude teenage girls at drama practice. I focused on the task at hand, whether that was finishing my burrito or figuring out what part I was playing in the new human video we were practicing. It was stressful to deal with raging emotions, the pain of a sunburn, and bordering on a meltdown all at the same time, but I did it.

I have priorities in my life that include being a part of my family and my active role in church, and I cannot allow almost meltdowns to hinder what I need to do. I was able to avoid a meltdown without actually separating myself and without self stimulation. I didn’t know that was a possibility, but I did it. You can too!

Hopeful,
Allie.

Regression

Alas, I have not written in a while because I have been busy (with life). While I have been away from the wonderful world of blogging, things have been happening. Good things! As well as the occasional not-so-good thing. I’ve created, for myself, a workout schedule and I’ve been attending more Bible studies! (Yay!) This post, however, has the title it does because things happens.


Working out releases stress that builds up due to disturbances in my little box. Along with muscle training, I use things like the punching bag, a heavy rope that I swing around, and a sledge hammer to hit tractor tires with. I am in a better mood and I treat people, mostly my family, much better when I don’t have that built-up stress weighing on me.

Going to Bible studies, I learn more about my relationship with God and get to know Him better. It creates a better mood in me because I feel peace, and I treat people, once again, much better. These things have kept me busy and have improved my mood much.

Now, to the regression. There are events that led up to it. Another meltdown. *cue horror-movie music* Firstly, there has been something weighing on my mind that has me perplexed and stressed. Then, there was a change in my schedule, and I was not able to work out on Friday. Saturday, my little sisters were stressed about returning to school, which, in turn, stressed me out. Sunday, my schedule, once again, was changed. I no longer had drama practice and was no longer going to go to the Bible study. I felt useless because I no longer had something to do. In the end, I had a meltdown. It was over the littlest thing. I was watching Law& Order: SVU and my little sister decided to change it to CSI while I had gotten up to get a soda.


I do enjoy both shows, but I felt wronged. Betrayed, even. Granted, her actions were not justified, but I am the adult (or at least I should be). There were things that added to the situation, but I should have more control over myself. I think that I didn’t see the warning signs for this one because I was so caught up in being busy that I forgot to watch myself. I got cocky and I fell hard. It hurt to have fallen and to feel like I’m back at “square one” again. I don’t want to go back to where I was before. I want to keep improving. I could have prevented that meltdown, and I’ve been scolding myself since for it. A word of advice:
“Never forget where you have been. You might just find yourself there again” (-Allison Rogers)

Limping,
Allie.

Unusual

I know that I normally write long paragraphs about serious things, but I needed to share my joy with you guys really quickly. Something unusual happened to me. You already know that I go to Bible studies with my “brothers.” Last Sunday, I went to one and an interesting conversation happened between my “brothers” and I on the way home.

Brother #1: “So who all were you talking to, Ms. Social Butterfly?”
Me: “Wait. What? Me? Social Butterfly?”
Brother #2: “Yea. You were talking to a group of people and they were captivated by you. What were you talking about?”
Me: “Just normal stuff. Work. Family. School. Really?”
Brother #1: “Yea. Really.”
Brother #2: “What were their names?”
Me: “I don’t remember” ( <—- Feeling like an idiot for not remembering.)
{And the conversation continues.}

This was the first time in my life that I remember those two simple words being used to describe me. Social Butterfly. It came as such a shock that I was doing well socially. I was engaging strangers in conversation that held their attention without them thinking that I was strange. Not only that, but it was a group of people. At the time, I was just trying to be polite and follow the social rules that I’ve learned.

So, I’ve compiled a list of rules that I follow.
1 – Observe people. What they’re talking about and how they react to certain topics. Observing, however, does not mean that you can be rude and ignore people that try to start conversations with you.
2 – To start a conversation, compliment something (clothing, hair, eyes, etc.) because people love to hear that someone likes how they look.
3 – To keep a conversation going, ask a question that requires more than a “yes” or “no” answer because people love to talk about themselves.
4 – Ask questions that are relevant to them, but that you can also relate to.
5 – Safe topics include work, school, family, childhood homes, and the weather.
6 – People like to know that they have your attention when they are talking to you, so look them in the eye. (If this is too difficult, look at their lips, forehead, or nose.)
7 – When you can feel an awkward silence coming up, change the subject or excuse yourself to the bathroom. Changing the subject may give you the label “random” but it will almost never give you the label “awkward.”

When I can think of more, I’ll update this post. If you have anything you want to add, feel free to comment below!

Happy,
Allie.