My Little Box

I have a place I go to any time of the day when things start to go wrong. I put on P.J.’s, curl up in a blanket, and hide away in my room to read a book.

When I go to my little box and read, I’m taken away from my world and into a fictional one. In this fictional world, I can look at the issues they have from a third person point of view. The issues, frustrations hurts of this fictional world can’t touch me. It gives me an escape form my troubles for a little while. It gives me an escape from the things that stress me out. It helps me to calm my thoughts. After I’m done reading, I find that I’m better able to look at my problems and try to resolve them. It helps me to deal with the unjust things of this world. It helps me to process the things that I don’t understand. It’s a quiet place for me to think better than I do any other place. Depending on how bad the mess-up is, I will retreat to my little box for a few hours or for days. Of course, I do resurface for mandatory things such as work, dinner, and church. I go to work and get through the day. I come home to the safety of my little box. I go downstairs to have dinner with my family like we do every night. I go to church and sit through the service, take notes, and read along. I go home once again to the safety of my little box. With a constantly changing world, it’s nice to have a place to go that is safe from major changes. It is a safe zone.

When an Aspie, like me, goes into their little box, it’s not always a bad thing. It’s not always a pity party. It’s not always being anti-social. It’s not always avoiding family. Like I said, it helps me. And those that are allowed into the sacred little box of an Aspie, I hope that you know how lucky you really are. For an Aspie to trust you enough to let you into their little box, their own little world, is quite a big thing. It takes a lot for an Aspie to let you into their little world, and even then they may be nervous about you accidentally disrupting the balance and order they have set forth in their world. Personally, the only person I let into my little box is my very best friend, my 15 year old little sister. I do let her in, but only occasionally. I like my little box better when it’s just me.

Not all Aspies will have the same little box that I do. For some, it may be in the bath tub, doing complex math, playing a card game, etc. All Aspies are different, but all Aspies have one. Some retreat to it more often than others. Some are more protective of their box. And just because an Aspie doesn’t let you into their box doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. I love my family dearly, but I’d much rather not have them in my box. When I retreat to my box, I don’t stop loving them. I just need my time to cope with things and hash things out.

Peeking Out,

Allie.

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5 thoughts on “My Little Box

  1. I like the box analogy, Allie! My son does the same thing and sometimes his dad has a hard time remembering that he’s not shutting us off…just changing the channel for a bit. Keep writing, kiddo!

  2. I used to have a box.. lol.. before I had all these KIDS! They keep knocking at the door and I cannot ignore them. I used to read a LOT before MS and the degenerative eye disease. Now my “box” is my horse. Feeding her, grooming her, cleaning up after and especially riding.. Oh MY riding is the best escape and release I have ever known.. Have you ever considered Equine therapy? It is wonderful for anyone who has any condition or disease or even if they in fact they are “healthy and whole”. When I am with her the whole world slips away. I also LOVE spinning yarn from wool and crocheting things.. I love being creative and spinning is very Zen for me.
    Black Sheep

    • Yes. Being with a horse and taking care of it is very good therapy. I’ve loved horses since I was little. I used to help one of my aunts spin wool also. I enjoyed it and it was calming, but I never did get good at crocheting things. XD

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