Every person with logic knows that change is simply a part of life. Things change. Sometimes for the better and sometimes not. One of the traits of an Aspie is setting a pattern and keeping to that pattern. Wake up at the same time every day. Make your bed the same way every morning. Eat the same thing for breakfast. You go through the same routine to get ready day after day simply because that is how it is done. That is what you are accustomed to and if your pattern, your routine is disrupted, sometimes you freak out.
Personally, it’s not really an every day thing for me. My morning routine is here, there, always changing because I live in the same house as my unpredictable sisters. However, when plans are made and we have to be somewhere at a certain time, that is when I start to freak out. If plans change last minute, I become frustrated and hard to deal with. If we are running late to something important, I become unbearable. My mother tells me, “Allison, it’s alright. It’s just fine. It’s ok.” And my reply is usually, “No mom. It’s not ok. We’re late, we need to be there, I knew we should have woken the girls up earlier. Why is (insert name) taking so long…” And on and on.
Changes in surroundings can freak Aspies out also. So, moving can put alot of strain on an Aspies control of themselves. I am planning on moving away. I want to further my education at a trade school. This trade school, however, is about five hours away from where I live. I will have to live on campus with NEW people, NEW surroundings, NEW expectations, and a NEW routine. Being around new people will be tough. They will not know that I have Asperger Syndrom. They will not know my quirks and pet peeves. They will not understand why I am the way that I am. They will think of me as “that strange girl.” It will feel bad to be rejected without real cause. I will also, for the first time, be separated from my parents and younger sisters for long periods of time. I’ve never been away from them for more than two weeks. My family is my heart. They are the few people I trust with the real me, and I will not be able to truly be myself while I am away from them.
The difficulty that I will face in the future will make life harder than it has to be. I’m not going to pretend like it will be easy, because it won’t. I will, however, do my best to make the best of the situation and make as many new friends as I possibly can. The value of furthering my education is worth more than the pain I will have to endure to get it.