Archive | December 2011

Points of View

It is common knowledge that everyone has and is entitled to their own opinion. Likewise, people with Asperger Syndrome have differing opinions, especially on the topic of Asperger Syndrome itself. Some Aspies hate that they have it, some embrace having it, some don’t know they have it, and yet others just live with it.

I read, recently, a very angry sounding post by someone that also has AS. As far as I can see, this person basically uses having AS as an excuse to be rude. Acting like it’s a bad thing for those of us with AS to try to follow social rules. Acting like others should just accept us as we are and deal with it. Sure, others should accept that we have AS and that some things we may never understand, but that does not give us the right to be rude and rebellious, using AS as an excuse. Personally, all I ask of “normal” people is that they are patient and understanding of my social slowness.

I also read, recently, a post by someone that embraces AS and loves having it. It helps this person to focus on one thing for a long period of time. It helps them to research and learn everything that they can on certain subjects. It helps them to be very meticulous in their work. Admittedly, there are the social drawbacks and the awkwardness, but having AS isn’t a completely terrible thing.

I have no clue where I stand in this. Maybe I’m in the category of ‘just live with it.’ I do not have a negative opinion of AS, but I’m not sure that I completely embrace it either. Some days are better than others. Some days I just want to hide away in my room because I can’t get anything right, and some days I feel a deep contentment in my AS. Maybe I’ll decide how I really feel sometime soon.

Pondering,

Allie.

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Lost and Found

A million ideas in my head. A million ideas shot down. I had no clue where to start writing or where I should go next. So, I did a little search on Facebook and behold, there, in front of me, was an Asperger’s Awareness Page. I scrolled down to see what it was all about, and what’s the first thing that pops out at me? An open discussion of the pro’s and con’s of having AS. Reading that long page of other Aspie’s lists of what they view as pro’s and con’s was interesting, comforting, and shocking at the same time.

I found it interesting that all these different people have experienced the exact same things that I have. Some had long lists of pro’s and some had long lists of con’s. Some were written by parents of Aspies. Some made me feel like crying because I feel somehow connected to them and some made me feel angry because they had such a negative outlook on it. I read about some things that I know I don’t have trouble with. I read about some things that I hadn’t realized I have trouble with. I read the words of concerned parents asking for a grown Aspies advice concerning how to react and deal with some things their children experience.

After reading what these people had to say, I realized that I have the capability of being in contact with them. I could possibly talk to them about issues in my life. I could possibly help someone like me to live an easier life. It excites me and scares me at the same time. I am eager to be in contact with people like me. I have a deep desire to talk to people who understand me and what I’m going through. I want to be able to talk about similarities with other Aspies. I want to be able to talk to worried mothers about what life was like for me growing up just in case something I say can make their lives easier. Meeting new people, however, is terrifying (whether said people have AS or not). I’ll just take it one step at a time. Maybe some different reading material will come of this.

 

Baby Steps,

Allie.

Intelligent People

Some very smart and very famous people have been suspected to have Asperger Syndrome. Here are a few:

1. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, 1756-1791, Austrian composer

2.Thomas Edison, 1847-1931, US inventor

3.Thomas Jefferson, 1743-1826, US politician

4.Vincent Van Gogh, 1853-1890, Dutch painter

5.Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827, German/Viennese composer

6.Jane Austen, 1775-1817, English novelist, author of Pride and Prejudice

7.Michelangelo, 1475 1564 – Italian Renissance artist

8.Nikola Tesla, 1856-1943, Serbian/American scientist, engineer, inventor of electric motors

9.Isaac Newton, 1642-1727, English mathematician and physicist

10.Richard Strauss, 1864-1949, German composer

11.Benjamin Franklin,1706-1790, US polictician/writer

Generally, though it is not the same for every Aspie, the topic that they obsess over and let rule their lives is either extremely mathematical or scientific. The rules of math and science seem more solid and logical than the rules of manners and society. Aspies find comfort in the fact that these rules, unlike people, very rarely ever change. These famous people were considered very rude by people that they met in the street. They had next to no social skills. They were very intelligent people that gave us beautiful music to listen to, interesting books to read, marvelous paintings to admire, laws of math and science, light from electricity, and, in America, a better country to live in.

These people took comfort in the imaginary lives of people on pages whose lives came together like theirs did not. Comfort in knowing that the number of beats in a 4 beat measure don’t change. Comfort in the smooth, relaxing feeling of paint on a canvas.

Granted, I know nothing about their personal lives, but most of the people listed here were not very popular among their peers. It probably hurt to not know that the way they acted was no fault of their own and turned people away anyways. These intelligent, passionate people gave this world pleasure even though the world didn’t understand or completely accept them.

Thoughtfully,

Allie.

This entry was posted on December 7, 2011. 1 Comment

Obsessions

Every Aspie has one topic that they are obsessed about. They tend to talk at length about this subject. They study and research this topic relentlessly until they know all there is to know. It often seems that this is also the only topic an Aspie is capable of talking about. Sometimes Aspies have more than one topic that they obsess over. Pretty much all other topics bore them

This is one reason why Aspies, who are very intelligent people, generally don’t do well in school. Sometimes classes are too easy for them and sometimes classes simply don’t interest them. In an Aspie’s reasoning, if it is not interesting to them and has nothing to do with the specific topic they obsess over or the occupation they have in mind for themselves, it is not worth the effort to learn or do well in the class.

Some popular obsessions for Aspies are mechanics, painting, history, math, science, and animals. I know an Aspie, however, that changes obsessions. For a year, it will be one thing, then for a month it will be different. An Aspies life will revolve around this obsession.

I am different from most Aspies in that my topics are myself and small children. I love to talk about myself and my whole life has always revolved around working with children. I was a terrible student. I learned what I needed to learn to pass the tests, but I didn’t do classwork or homework. It frustrated my teachers to see how intelligent I was and how bad my grades were. I was capable of doing the work, but I simply didn’t have the motivation to put much effort into it.

An Aspie’s tunnel vision is centered on their topic and all else ceases to be important. This topic obsession will reign in an Aspies life, but that doesn’t mean that people they care about are not important to them too. Aspies will try to share their vast knowledge of their topic with people, especially those that they are care about. It may become boring to others, talking about the same things endlessly. Those without AS, we would appreciate it greatly if you would try to be understanding of our excitement when it comes to this topic. Let us know , in a gentle way, when it’s times for the subject to change. Understanding on your part will make it easier for the Aspie in your life to share who they really are with you. And trust me. They want to be loved as much as normal people do.

 

Myself,

Allie.

This entry was posted on December 7, 2011. 2 Comments

Changes

Every person with logic knows that change is simply a part of life. Things change. Sometimes for the better and sometimes not. One of the traits of an Aspie is setting a pattern and keeping to that pattern. Wake up at the same time every day. Make your bed the same way every morning. Eat the same thing for breakfast. You go through the same routine to get ready day after day simply because that is how it is done. That is what you are accustomed to and if your pattern, your routine is disrupted, sometimes you freak out.

Personally, it’s not really an every day thing for me. My morning routine is here, there, always changing because I live in the same house as my unpredictable sisters. However, when plans are made and we have to be somewhere at a certain time, that is when I start to freak out. If plans change last minute, I become frustrated and hard to deal with. If we are running late to something important, I become unbearable.  My mother tells me, “Allison, it’s alright. It’s just fine. It’s ok.” And my reply is usually, “No mom. It’s not ok. We’re late, we need to be there, I knew we should have woken the girls up earlier. Why is (insert name) taking so long…” And on and on.

Changes in surroundings can freak Aspies out also. So, moving can put alot of strain on an Aspies control of themselves. I am planning on moving away. I want to further my education at a trade school. This trade school, however, is about five hours away from where I live. I will have to live on campus with NEW people, NEW surroundings, NEW expectations, and a NEW routine. Being around new people will be tough. They will not know that I have Asperger Syndrom. They will not know my quirks and pet peeves. They will not understand why I am the way that I am. They will think of me as “that strange girl.” It will feel bad to be rejected without real cause. I will also, for the first time, be separated from my parents and younger sisters for long periods of time. I’ve never been away from them for more than two weeks. My family is my heart. They are the few people I trust with the real me, and I will not be able to truly be myself while I am away from them.

The difficulty that I will face in the future will make life harder than it has to be. I’m not going to pretend like it will be easy, because it won’t. I will, however, do my best to make the best of the situation and make as many new friends as I possibly can. The value of furthering my education is worth more than the pain I will have to endure to get it.

 

With Hope,

Allie.

This entry was posted on December 2, 2011. 2 Comments