Break the Awkward Ice

Asperger Syndrome (my definition): It is an underdevelopment of the social part of the brain.

Most “Aspie’s” (people with Asperger Syndrome) have not been diagnosed, but they still feel the pains of being an Aspie. Asperger Syndrome is a high functioning form of Autism. Yes. That means it is a form of retardation. The retardation of an Aspie only affects the social part of the brain. Aspie’s often excel in other parts of the brain.

I have Asperger Syndrome. The signs of it showed up in infancy, but my Mom and Dad did not have an explanation or name for my behavior and habits. In childhood, they reasoned it away with the fact that I was a child. When my behavior continued into my pre-teen years, however, my parents could no longer do that. After a VERY frustrating day, my mother typed into a search engine the words “social dyslexia” and found, for the first time, light at the end of my awkward tunnel. Many links to websites having to do with Asperger Syndrome opened her eyes to what it was that I had been doing all my life. The way she tells it, there were 25 or so qualifiers for AS and my behavior fit 18 of them.

Here are a few:
-Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others’ body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.
-Dislike any changes in routines.
-Appear to lack empathy.
-Be unable to recognize subtle differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of others’ speech. So your child may not understand a joke or may take a sarcastic comment literally. And his or her speech may be flat and hard to understand because it lacks tone, pitch, and accent.
-Have a formal style of speaking that is advanced for his or her age. For example, the child may use the word “beckon” instead of “call” or the word “return” instead of “come back.”
-Avoid eye contact or stare at others.
-Have unusual facial expressions or postures.
-Be preoccupied with only one or few interests, which he or she may be very knowledgeable about. Many children with Asperger’s syndrome are overly interested in parts of a whole or in unusual activities, such as designing houses, drawing highly detailed scenes, or studying astronomy. They may show an unusual interest in certain topics such as snakes, names of stars, or dinosaurs.
-Talk a lot, usually about a favorite subject. One-sided conversations are common. Internal thoughts are often verbalized.
-Have delayed motor development. Your child may be late in learning to use a fork or spoon, ride a bike, or catch a ball. He or she may have an awkward walk. Handwriting is often poor.
-Have heightened sensitivity and become overstimulated by loud noises, lights, or strong tastes or textures.

Around the age of 14, Mom finally told me. I cried. I didn’t want to be a “freak.” I wanted to fit in with people my age and be “normal.” I felt so alone in the world. My journey as an Aspie had begun. I started to watch myself and my behavior and prevent myself from doing non-normal things. I learned and memorized social rules. It was a long journey. I still hit bumps here and there, but I can see the difference in my life, then and now.

Thinking about Aspie’s and myself, I wondered what I could possibly do to help other Aspie’s that don’t know about it or don’t have someone like them to talk to. My decision to create this blog is my way of reaching out to help those that are screaming, to a seemingly empty world, “Help me!!” I’m here to help.

Allie the Aspie


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